Das Mixture

Beat

Opening Line

Too tired for an opening line.

Nine hours in a car and a bunch of meetings will do that to you. Plus I think I am coming down with something. Stupid germs.

Yeah, so this morning I got through one set of push-ups. One set of 50 and then I gave up. Just wasn't feeling it. In fact, I was feeling more beat down than anything. I know, I know, most of you expected much more of me, but really, when's the last time you did 50 push-ups? (OK, feelin' a little snarky this morning)

Sure, it's 620 push-ups for the week, but you are really only as good as your last workout. Am I right? Well don't be ridiculous, of course I am. Feel free to bash me as necessary. I'm weak. I don't deserve to have a blog. Obama should take my entitlement away (uh...).

Weight loss this week was non-existent, but thankfully so was weight gain. To be honest, I fully expected there to be some gain due to last weekend's festivities and I didn't necessarily eat as smart as I should have during the weekend.

Boobs

Sure, that got your attention. If you are not easily offended, you can check out the one country song I think I like. Although I could have done without the man-boobs.

Show Me

The link is courtesy of my friend Brian (Primary), who is most obviously a naughty boy.

Listening to: Dizz Knee Land - Dada

Posted with nausea

Seven

Opening Line

I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.  ~ Mark Twain

Downgrade

Tidings to the People of the Net this Thursday morning.

Yesterday saw me doing only 120 push-ups. Obviously much less than Monday and slightly below what I would normally do on a Wednesday. I think I was beat from all the push-up activity on Monday. The good news is that I have broken 3000 for the year.

Weak In the Knees

Yesterday's injection into the knee featured cold fluid. I hate when that happens. I also learned that it will be around seven more weeks until the chicken brains start doing their thing. At least patience is something I have gotten much better at. Well, at least where running is concerned.

Traveling Man

Today gives way to a day trip to Baton Rouge, LA. Nine hours of driving for a one hour meeting. Not my idea of fun.

Q&A

Jess asks why I looked pissed in Monday's picture. Feel free to pick the answer that most appeals to you:

1. I hate having my picture taken because I believe everytime someone takes your picture they take part of your soul
2. All those bottles of beers are empty - dammit

3. My wife is flashing Brock

Holden had several questions regarding my stellar push-up effort on Monday:

• Where was Mrs. Jamoosh during this record setting endeavor? At work for the morning session. Sleeping during the lunch and evening sessions.
• Were you clothed? Uh, none of your business.
• Do you call this missionary push-ups? Only if you are Catholic, which I am not.
• Is it safe to do it 3 times a day? Yes, as long as you are wearing protection.

OK, enough with the questions already.

Listening to: Hot N Cold - Katy Perry

Posted pre-trip

450

Opening Line

Even if the voices are not real, they have some good ideas...

A picture was taken at Saturday's tasting. The beers in front of me were shared - I swear!

 

Counter-clockwise from the left: John, Brian, Brock, and yours truly - check out the day-glo laces on the shoes!

Personal Records

Since I am unable to amaze you with personal records on the running course, I am relegated to setting personal records in the bedroom. Let me repharse that - setting personal records in the workout room.

Verily, to make up for this past weekends activities, I did a buttload of push-ups. The first session gave way to 210 push-ups, besting my previous best by 10. But I was not done. Right before lunch, I cranked out another 140 push-ups, but this time with a twist - I put my feet on the weight bench. I was not done yet. As part of my afternoon workout, I did another 100 push-ups. I changed it up again and put my feet up on the ball for that final session. 

Feel free to text yourself a OMG! That's 450 push-ups in a single day for those counting a home. Of course, now my boobs and my triceps hurt.

Round Two

This morning is Round Two of Joint Fluid Therapy. Round One yielded little, if any improvement in the knee. I am hoping Round Two will at least see a modicum of improvement. Especially since I dreamed of running last night. As the distance got longer, my knee felt better and better. Perhaps it's a sign. Or perhaps the Guy Upstairs is funking with me.

Listening to: Love Rollercoaster - Ohio Players

Posted on Fat Tuesday 

That's a Wrap

Opening Line

Everyone should have an evil secret plan... - Denis Leary

No worries - I am off the kick to become an Overlord. I am now thinking more along the lines of "Mastermind." Yeah baby!

What a weekend, if I do say so myself. Saturday and Sunday were a study in contrasts to be sure. Saturday started bright and early with a leg workout and a trip over to Memorial Park to participate in Bob's Birthday 5K. Originally, I was designated with the all important duty of guarding the keg while folks were out on their run. However, with Bob's girfriend, Laura, on hand, I was free to...uh...walk!

Cheryl, who happens to be Head Coach of the Houston Fit Walking Group, was in the house and along with Diane, was going to do a 2.5 mile walk to finish their day (morning). Hence, I accompanied them to get some additional exercise in. During the walk, I saw several of The Knuckleheads, including (other) Bob, Carolyn, Helen, Tammy and more. It was great to see some faces I had not seen in months. I certainly hope to be running with them again...soon!

During the last 3/4 of a mile there was some tenderness in the knee. I don't think it was something to worry about and was likely more a symptom of mowing the lawn the day prior (uneven terrain), rather than the walking itself. Besides, there was beer to be had.

After a few celebratory brews, it was back home to begin preparing for the Beer Tasting. And of course the Beer Tasting itself, where several of us got liquefied. In fact, with the proper amount of urging, two of our friends left their cars overnight and went the designated driver route. Let's hear it for sanity and responsibility!

Lazy Sunday

Sunday was chilled - in more ways than one. I thought the best thing to get the blood cells moving would be a nice bike ride. Until I learned it was 40 degrees out. No thanks. So instead, it was a ballet of getting cars back to their owners and having breakfast with Brian and Melissa.

Then it was couch time. All dang day. No really, all dang day. We just chilled, watched movies and napped.

Listening to: I Wanna Be A Cowboy - Boys Don't Cry

Posted from The Home Office

Big Brew

Opening Line

People who drink "light" beer don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee alot.

Last night we went big. Big beer that is. Brock Wagner, owner of Saint Arnold Brewing, made a guest appearance at our abode and big beer was the order of the day. My friends, this was not for the faint of heart. Run for the hills. Dogs are barking. Hide the children.

Getting to hear the story behind each beer was a fascinating element that was added to the standard beer tasting. Further, it was great to talk about beer on many different levels, whether it be about the lack of success brew pubs have had in Houston, the progress of the new Saint Arnold Brewing facility, or just beer in general. All good stuff.

The Saint Arnold Beers we tasted were all limited release Divine Reserve (in order): (old style) Barleywine, Abbey American Quadruppel, Double IPA, Wee Heavy, Russian Imperial Stout, and American Barleywine.

While none of the brews disappointed, the group agreed that the Abbey American Quadruppel (Divine #2), the Russian Imperial Stout (Divine #5) and the American Barleywine (Divine #6) stood out the most. The Desert Island vote was split between Divine #5 and Divine #6.

After the formal tasting, I shared a Dogfish Head World Wide Stout from my Beer Hibernation Chamber with the group. Although all the beers we tasted previously were easily over 9% alcohol, it does not necessarily prepare one to taste the World Wide Stout, which registers at over 18%. It definitely gets in your face, but it goes down like silk. 

Brian, John and I finished the tasting by taking it down a notch with Boulevard's Double Wide IPA. This beer only checks in at 8.5% alcohol, so it was the "baby" of the bunch. That said, it was definitely packed with flavor. I don't think it would qualify as a "double" or "imperial" IPA, but it was tasty just the same.

An excellent evening to say the least. I have to thank the wives: Jaclyn, Melissa and Kim who let us men be the manly beer drinking men we are.

Listening to: Bad Moon Rising

Last Night's Beer: Many

Posted while recovering

Can I Get A Witness

Opening Line

The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, "If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down."  ~ Rita Rudner

Hot Animation

My Wii trainer (female) wants me to come work out with her every day. If that is not a come on, I don't know what is. Suffice to say, you know you have it when animated characters want you, although I have to assume it is because of my charming personality and dry wit, not my looks. I just hope my wife does not get jealous.

Last week I decided I would see what this whole Wii Fit thing was all about. Apparently it is about making me look retarded. Thankfully, I can do it in the privacy of my own home where only the cat, who already thinks I am retarded, can see me.

Random note: why is it that the cat wants nothing to do with you until you step on to the Wii Fit Board and then he decides it will be his mission to be a foot warmer? I digress.

As for the Wii Fit, it's actually not that bad. I'm in it mainly for the balance, which obviously needs major improvement, and I will try to do it every other day, three times a week (even though the animated hottie is begging me to come back each and every day). I'm not doing too bad on the Yoga for Dummies Level, although I have found out that ironically, my balance is much better on my left (bad knee) leg than my right leg. Go figure.

The only negative is the sound it makes when you step on the Board. Excuse me, was that a disguised grunt I just heard?  The comments made as you work through and complete exercises is mostly positive, although some times one can detect some disapproving undertones, Hmmmm, you seem a little shaky, strengthening your core will help you with this pose.

Hey, just come out and say it - I suck! Perhaps they should consider a reality mode: Dude, take the feed bag off and walk a little farther than to the refrigerator now and then. Of course, in my case it would sound more like: Jamoosh, I want you. Cartoon sex is great. Just try it. All your friends are doing it. You know you want to. Slutty animation...

Dos Mas

("Two More" for those of you not living in an area with a high infusion of our Hispanic Brothers and Sisters). I dropped two full pounds this week. I was a tad worried because while my eating habits were acceptable, they were not as good as previous weeks. That and I missed one afternoon workout.

It's got to be the push-ups. 550 this week, including 180 this morning. At this pace, I would technically be able to take every other week off and still meet my goal. But then guilt would set in because this is not supposed to be easy. I have already reached the point where I feel bad if I don't do at least 150 during a workout session. Stupid conscience... 

Listening to: It's Too Late - Jim Carrol Band

Posted under animation domination 

Edumacation

Opening Line

Warning - Knowledge transfer may occur shortly.

Chicken Brains

OK, they are not injecting chicken brains (as far as I know) into my knee. You people will believe anything. We're calling this series of injections Joint Fluid Therapy. Judging by the pictures in the brochure, I'll be doing yoga in no time - although the Wii Fit would beg to differ (story for another moment). 

The solution they are injecting into my knee is made up of a naturally occurring substance in the human body called Hyaluronan. The stuff is made of highly sterile Sodium Hyaluronate and it is found naturally in the tissues of the body joints. It is also found in the Synovial Fluid that fills up the various body joints. The naturally present Hyaluronan acts as a lubricant and a shock absorber for a body joint. 

I use the term chicken brains because I can only assume that bird parts are used in the synthesized version of Hyaluronan as one should not embark on a regime of injections if they are allergic to bird products such as feathers, eggs and poultry.

Jamoosh - droppin' the knowledge - word!

Beer Tasting

Excitement abounds in a tempered way as the weekend approaches. A special guest will be arriving at our home to talk beer and do a little tasting (hint, he is the purveyor of one of my favorite beers on the right). The parameters dictate that I have to limit my guest list significantly (three), but at least I know each of the chosen ones will fully enjoy this experience. 

I have been thinking so much about the beer, I have not been able to decide what munchies I will make for the occasion. Perhaps chicken...

I must also provide a massive shout out to my wife, Jaclyn, for allowing me to do this. Especially since I used up all my points getting this event to happen. Of course, this was arranged prior to her getting a new car, thus my points are well-stocked for the next event or random act of stupidity, whichever comes first. 

Listening to: Midnight Rider - Kenny Wayne Sheperd

Last Night's Beer: St. Arnold Amber

Posted like a giddy schoolgirl

Neat and Tidy Tuesday

Opening Line

Careful - We don't want to learn from this. - Bill Watterson

Parts is Parts

This morning I willingly allowed the good Doctor Melillo to inject chicken parts into my knee. Which may explain why I had an uncontrollable urge to hit the gas when I passed the KFC on my way back home. And by the way, I have no idea why I crossed the road. Perhaps because it was there.

One injection down, two injections to go. I am not sure when I should be seeing improvement. We shall see.

My knee feels heavier, without being heavier. Does that make any sense whatsoever? Probably not, which means I have no clue how to explain the feeling in my knee right now. My apologies to the masses.

I did get a bonus leg work out because of the injection. Just following instructions. I had already done my leg exercises for the day, but it was recommended that I do some more so the chicken brains would get mixed in around my knee. And based on the way my knee feels, I would suppose that mixology is in effect.

Somewhere there is a chicken walking around with its head cut off just so I could have an injection. Thank you headless chicken.

Listening to: Last Stop: This Town - Eels

Posted while bobbing my head in spazmodic movements

It's About the Beer

Opening Line

Drinking beer does not make you fat, it makes you lean...against bars, tables, chairs and poles!

I am on the cusp of getting back into brewing my own beer. So close in fact, that Jaclyn and I headed over to the American Homebrewer's Association Membership event at St. Arnold Brewing yesterday afternoon. It featured all the local Home Brew Clubs, the latest in home brewing equipment, and free beer. AND FREE BEER!

Bud Lite, Miller, Lite, Coors Lite, (et al) are turned away at this door. Only yummy, delicious St. Arnold beer (and Root Beer) straight from the tap is available within. Highlight of the day was the cask conditioned Elissa, it's frothy head giving way to clean hops and a malty body - yum.

Up, Up and Away

200 push-ups this morning. Sets of 60-40-50-50. That only equals a record. I was going to stop after three sets, but I was upset with myself for not pushing harder on the third set. Maybe I'll do better next Monday.

40 minutes on the bike yesterday. Unfortunately because of foggy and misty conditions, I had to keep it indoors on the recumbent bike and watch the History Channel. I think I learned something, but don't tell anyone.  

Chicken Brains

Tomorrow I start another round of treatment on my left knee. This time, we're gonna try injecting chicken brains or some erotic concoction that will supposedly provide a natural lubricant for my knee. I'll have injections over the next three weeks. Crossing my dang fingers on this one. 

Listening to: Stay - Oingo Boingo

Last Night's Beer - St. Arnold Cask Conditioned Elissa

Posted on the rebound

Husband of the Moment

Opening Line

I'm a sucker...

Giftage

The wife scored for Valentine's Day this year. The good news is two-fold as no matter what happens on Valentine's Day in years to come (or any holiday for that matter), I can always pull out, "Remember Valentine's Day 2009?" Let's face it, I am gold for the next ten years. Jessica Alba walks in my front door - drop 'em baby!

Anyway, Jaclyn received the gift of relaxation in the form of several massages. No, no, and no - I am not talking about a homemade certificate good for a massage (Lord, I don't believe I have done that since the dark ages), I am talking about a massage (or four) at a real spa, by trained professionals.

She also received some peace of mind in the form of this:

Yes, that is Jaclyn's new Toyota RAV4. Perhaps not the best financial decision in these troubled times, but sometimes there are better reasons to do things. Jaclyn's Highlander was damaged last year during Hurricane Ike and apparently it was destined to become a piece of crap. Cosmetically, it was in bad shape, but that should have been easily remedied. After dropping it off at the State Farm Authorized Toyota Dealer (Mike Calvert) for repairs, she waited nearly two months to get her car back and it was never the same. Not even close. Didn't feel right. And stuff started breaking - literally falling off.

Two interesting notes: First, Jaclyn's Highlander came back a much darker shade of gray than when she dropped it off. Second, when the appraiser at Ron Carter Toyota looked over the car, his first question was if it had been in a wreck. He then explained that whomever "fixed" it had done a crappy job.

This short story is starting to get long, so I leave you with the fact that Jaclyn has a new car; the payments are lower; it gets much better gas mileage; it has a smaller footprint; she has peace of mind; and I have a get out of jail card sitting in the garage. Priceless!

Listening to: Free Your Mind - En Vogue

Last Night's Beer: Great Divide Oak Aged Yeti Imperial Stout

Posted while dreaming of chili dogs - yes, chili dogs